Just My View Essays

  Before him, safety felt impossible. No one had ever offered it to me, and I felt its absence everywhere. It was a quiet but constant void in my relationships, romantic and platonic alike. I moved through the world bracing for instability, aware that something essential was missing but not sure how to name it, or whether it was something I was ever meant to have. With him, safety became embodied. It was easy. He was convincing. I started dreaming of a future. In just 55 days, I learned what safety felt like. After him, safety felt possible… but unbearably fragile. Knowing it existed but could disappear in a breath made it dangerous to believe in. A risk to even dream.                Day 1. November 26th, 2020. Thanksgiving night. I got an Instagram DM from a boy that had been following me for a month. I didn't know who he was or why he followed but… he was handsome. I liked a photo. For the plot. He messaged me. Said he thought I was cu...